Happiness

2014-06-01 13.35.19Today was a very special day. Today I didnt work the cab. Its not special because of that; that would be a mite trite. I didnt work today as a consequence of the specialness of it. Today my number 2 son, Samuel, had contact hours with his daughter in our home, the first time outside of a contact centre. “she” wanted to continue with the centre but he stood firm and the court agreed, so now he gets three sundays out of four, for four hours, rather than two, and he chose to have the first one at our home. I sat back this time because when she was born, and before it all went seriously pear shaped, I had more physical contact than did the other half of my sky. I wanted her to have more time with her, but of course, it was really about Sam having good quality time with her.  As it turned out wifey spent too much time in the kitchen preparing dinner. I think she was a little afraid of upsetting the little girl, but that didnt happen. In fact she made her laugh by making a pig noise.

Another nice thing to happen today was the visit by number 3 son , Lewis, and his partner Chantelle. I cycled 8 or 9 miles this morning but he and his mate cycled 52 miles today……….made me feel a little innadequat. But they are building up to a proper ride in Stratford upon Avon, this saturday, organised by…………..well, dont actually know, but the roads are closed off for the duration of the day , and they are doing 70 miles that day. He seems to be playing less football and taking up cycling , where at least nobody kicks him.

Brought my mum over to see Ava for the last hour and a half so everyone is happy.

 

Its important to be happy, but Im not sure its possible. I think contentment is fare more amenable. The American constitution states that everyone is allowed the right to pursue happiness, but interestingly doesnt say that anyone has the right to actually be happy. I think people should consider this when they feel a little low, when they want to make drastic changes to their lives in order “to be happy”. Happiness is elusive, but contentment is wholly attainable, one simply has to alter ones state of mind and realise that first off, you have to come to terms with, and embrace, who you are. And that doesnt mean what you look like, but what you are within. So, when I was accused of being less than enthusiastic about the arrival of Ava I have to say, in my defence, that because of the nature of her “mother” and because of past experience, and because I know the fragility of my mentality, I found a box within my mind and put her in it. To protect me. To keep me content. I was actually overjoyed at having her here today, although I may not have looked it, but appearances can be deceptive, cant they?

 

So, a glorious day of sunshine, veg gardening, grandaughter watching, sons chatting, wife smiling, and cycle riding,  Can life get much sweeter?

 

Love all, hurt none and walk in soft shoes

 

Isi Tart

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