I know some people dont like or understand football, and will therefore be hating that this World Cup thing is taking up so much televisual time, but Im absolutely loving it…………..apart from the obvious demise of England , which I expected and therefore lost no emotional energy over. I mean, do you like dance? I love ballet, and I see football as a ballet, movement of people around the dance floor, called The Pitch, and also moving a ball between them. The melodramatics of players pretending to be injured, the jubilous celebration when that ball scores a goal, the tears when a team loses. Its all theatre, its exciting. At its best its breathtaking. Just like the best ballets, such as Carmen. 

I have feet in both camps of this choreographic delight. I was , for a few years, the coach / manager of a couple of junior football teams, and we were rather succesful, and played good football and I loved nearly every minute of it (not mentioning some of the parents). And at the age of 39 I decided it was high time I had a male menopause and so I searched for, and found, a ballet school which would take me on. At the start there was just me in my salmon coloured tights, then there was an older lady, (younger than me, but older than the norm), and then suddenly there were several men, a couple of young ladies, and then it dwindled down to just me again, which was a bit sad. I never got to perform in any of the school shows, probably wouldnt have been good enough anyway, although the tutor, Diane Grose, did say once that she wished she had got me as a 12 year old as I could have been good. I did take a couple of exams, finishing on grade 5. I only stopped because I dislocated my knee in a class. Luckily , as I was wearing 120 denier tights at the time, the knee got pushed straight back in. The same knee dislocated when I was 19 in karate practice, so clearly the knee is a weak point. But I enjoyed the whole experience. Sadly I can no longer find my teacher. She was intending to emigrate to Jamaica but I dont know if she ever did. 

I rather think Im now just mumbling, except…………well, the football demonstrates a masculine exercise, the ballet perhaps demonstrates in many peoples eyes, a feminine exercise. I would vehemently disagree of course. However, I am going to apply to Coventry Uni to participate in the AA2A this year and I know what my theme is going to be……………..can you guess?

Well, its been a gorgeous day today, and I even smiled at the fat Policeman driving his panda car whilst laughing at me huffing and puffing cycling up a hill in Stoke Golding !

That’s all folks !

Love all, hurt none, and walk in soft shoes


Isi Tart


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