Conversation in a Cab, Conversation in my head, and Cat poop

Today, because we are hoping for a visit from our grandaughter tomorrow, I worked the taxi instead of the usual Sunday. Glorious weather. So when a young lady gets in around midday and starts to talk (why do they do that? I would much rather they travelled in silence as then I wouldnt have to put up with stupid conversations like this one).

She; ” lovely weather , so hot today”
me; yes, isnt it.
she; its about time.
me; sorry?
she; well we havent had much this summer have we?
me; Im sorry, which planet have you been living on? we are having a great summer. Its rained a couple of times, much needed,, but mostly sunshine.
she; well, it doesnt seem to last does it, it starts sunny and then my tea time its rainging
me; seriously, thats happened three times maximum.
she; well its better than last year, we had no summer last year
me;(incredulous) O M G…………..have you been asleep for a year? last year was great too. Weve had two great summers on the trot !!!
she; well April wasnt…..
me; (interupting)…April ISNT summer !!!!
she; (nervous giggle) well lets just say summer starts now (gives me a hopeful smile)
me; yeah , whatever you say, thats £3.60 me duck.

Its people like this that drive me to the brink of depression once more. Its people like this who make me want to seal myself from the world. But I wont let them beat me. However, I do have to implore my genius herbie to make my shampoo more potent with the happy juice part.

(two things must be said at this point; 1/ the first two sentences in the previous paragraph refer to people as “that” and “who”, which is deliberate as Im not sure which is more correct and rather than annoy one set of people I thought I might go the whole hog and upset both sets of people. And, 2/ I refer to herbie, which I now see might be misread as herpie, which is most upsetting, but also its close to being herme, which/who I believe was a god of medicine somewhere in the dark past so that might be accidentally good…………..phew, climbed out of that hole quite nicely I think, hehe).

So it was basically a quiet earning day, came home with 8 slabs, unloaded them, and thought it would be better if I just chilled out on the patio with the laptop. Well I got the laptop, but I NEED THAT ENHANCED MAGIC SHAMPOO FOR THE CHILLED PART, AAAARGHH !!!!!!!

(calms down, smooths dust off tights (leggings, theyre leggings, I keep telling you that…….stop trying to embarrass me, it wont happen) (who are you talking to?) (what?) takes deep calming breath and scares next doors cat who was about to use our flowerbed as a toilet.

Now THAT was funny, lol

love all, hurt none and walk in soft shoes

Isi Tart

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