Liz wrote about the people she sees everyday. We all do that, dont we? See people regularly but never speak, or smile sometimes and even not even make eye contact. But today one of the tutors I work for (both of them work together for todays lifedrawing class as there are so many students) saw me come into the classroom and looked first at my skirt, not at me. She hasnt done that before. So a little truth came out of that glimpse, i.e., that she was working at not responding in the past and today she made a judgement on me. Im not sure I like the judgement she made, but she is human and so is allowed fallibility. Of course that might all be in my head. Just like the reason we dont make eye contact is because we dont want to see if they judge us and perhaps weve already judged them and made the decision to not like them. I on the other hand, now always look people in the eye , I never look down at my feet (unless Im descending the stairs as my bi-focals lead me astray) as I walk. I used to. Back in the bad old days. But these are (mostly) the good old days and I look the world squarely on. This isnt because of the skirt thing, me saying Fxxx You if you cant get your head around this (although it is) its just that people are more accepting of you if you show confidence. This applies to every interaction.
So, when I see the lady who rides her electric invalid carriage/quadbike thingy dragging her Yorkshire Terrier along behind , I smile at her. And when I see the big man with the permanent suntan taking his almost equally brown dog for a walk I always say hello. And when I see the special needs man who I used to take to work I ask him how his day has been. In fact I always smile at all those I pass by on my way. And when Im in my skirt at college I deliberately walk the stairs, and when Im outside I chase the breeze for that woo! moment………………Oh, is that a bad thing? well it makes voyeurs smile !
So, with all that positivity and grinningness, it will be hard to understand why Ive felt down in the dumps today, almost like blackdog is around, but I refuse to accept him back into my life. This has meant that there are now two items on my Christmas Ideas list as requested by youngest son.
* New Poirot novel (not written by Christy of course)
* Daylight Lamp ( to fight off the effects of SAD )
Its a struggle to think of things. There are so few things I want that anyone can give.
Thats all folks !
Love all, hurt none, and walk in soft shoes