Equality

At LSA opening night for their latest exhibition I discovered an old man who was doing his part time fine arts degree at the same time I was doing mine full time. He didnt think he would live long enough to finish his degree, but clearly he did. His first statement to me, “I see you still have that tummy”…………I walked away, I was already feeling ill in the exhibition. Too many people making me feel invisible. But one facebooker, Danielle, tapped me and asked me if Scott Bridgewood was there and what he looked like as he had taught her daughter (yes, the same man who told me and Hayley that we should pack in our jobs and just be artists all day……..yes, he has a job. Irony.). And I bumped into Sue Graham, who had invited me. I was on the way out as she was on the way in. So I followed her into the cafe area to get another wine………..she vanished into a corner table (I found her eventually). In the meantime, a man nodded at me , I nodded back, spoke to him asking him if he had any work here and he told me that this bowl of titbits was better than another bowl of titbits, which I thought was a rather random remark and maybe even meant to be rude. He then walked off to talk to Sue. I have no idea who he was, but he clearly knew me. Sue wasnt talking either, and vanished again. Scott walked off without looking at me, just as I was about to speak. I know my wife isnt too interested in art, so I said, “Finished? I need to leave.” She looked a little relieved, and so we left after just approximately 20 minutes. The reason Im telling you this is……………this all sent me into a downward spiral, of feeling invisible, of being worthless, of having no confidence……………….this stopped when I started wearing skirts a while back, even in the little-word skirmish I had last Tuesday in Loughborough Park I felt in control, if more than a little angry. So what Im saying is that because my other half would have been so uncomfortable with me wearing a non bifurcated garment, even though she was crossdressed in trousers, I had to wear shorts over my leggings. Yes, leggings. So why are shorts over leggings better then skirts over leggings? How come its ok to wear leggings? And it was so uncomfortable. And not helped by seeing one particular young lady, in her thirties maybe, wearing a nice cool, breezy, floaty dress, with bare legs, who just looked how I wanted to feel. Free, cool, confident………….

Now this is where folk tend to get it wrong. I DO NOT WISH TO BE A WOMAN………..I simply want equality. Is that too much to ask?

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