Yellow Custard

Have you ever thought you were talking to somebody you knew only to find that maybe you didnt know them after all? This just happened to me. One of my fb “friends”, who I was convinced I went to University with has just posted a dated picture which proves it to be have been an impossibility. Now what do I do? admit it (which I just did, when I think about it) and carry on? carry on regardless (which sounds like a comedy film), or quietly leave the country?

Its all so confusing, this living business, dont you find? We start out thinking, or being told, that we are one thing, only to have suspicions and eventually to find that we are actually somebody else and this knowledge makes sense of the unhappiness we experienced whilst growing up and then more unhappiness at the realisation of a wasted life and so little time to rectify things. Man , its all screwed up. I would blame God but since God doesnt actually care about the minutae of the creation it must be somebody elses fault. How about my mum, for although she must have recognised stuff, she did nothing about it…….but thats too easy and really unfair on her. She had enough to contend with raising a very young child as a widow in a nation that wasnt quite ready to be called a welfare state………… many part time jobs to make ends meet…… wonder she had a breakdown later in life……, not her fault then…………..paternal grandmother passing on her faulty genes?, nah, she couldnt do anything about that, not really…………society then? well, partly yes, as in those early days society was so judgmental. But really, in the end, one can only blame oneself for not being brave enough, for being a coward.

So, continuing on this cowardy custard theme I think I will let sleeping dogs luy and carry on regardless regarding fb “friends”.

Love all, hurt none and walk in soft shoes

Isi Tart


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