LITTLE THOUGHTS, SILVER LININGS, TAKE AWAY, DREAMTIME and 8 OUT OF 10

Ive been ill for the last couple of days, nothing that was ever going to kill me, but painful, sore, and just a tad inconvenient, although it did give me three days off work rather than the two I was going to have, so……….find your silver linings where you can. But last night I felt a whole lot better and for once slept the whole night through (with regular toilet break), so jumped into cab, feeling good, sun shining, warm……oh yeah ! Life is good, man…………..made a fair amount of money, which is very unusual for a Tuesday, and even finished half hour before normal.

When I got home though I started to feel a bit wobbly and sat down (having first attended to the small things like dustbins that the other half, having only the entire day at home to do them, failed to accomplish). And then I started thinking. Thats never a good thing, Ive discovered. Its in my own best interest to merely react/respond, but, thinking I did…….and I realised that for most of my life Ive been desperate to have friends, Ive made what I thought were friends, only to find that actually they were no more than aquaintences. They became air after a while. If I didnt attend to the friendship, they didnt bother. And one in particular……….no, two actually, thinking about it, took all of my good deeds, all of my help when they needed and discarded me completely when I needed somebody to be strong for and with me. So I joined facebook and, although there is this friendship button, I know it doesnt really mean anything, and that any and all of the friends on my list are nought but vapour in reality. Maybe there are a couple from Uni days who would be there, but Ive noticed a lack of contact even from them just lately, which is probably what brought this up. But anyway, knowing something means you can do something about it. I know I cant make somebody be a real friend so Ive decided not to waste time and energy trying. I am who I am, take me or leave me.

Also, while Im here………Ive got this freelance, extras job, on Monday at MediaCity, Manchester. I cant say too much as Im sworn to secrecy but, and I know some of you will say there is a scientific explanation, but Ive experienced this before…………..but, what they want us to do I  have already dreamt about. Almost a year ago I had this dream, I thought it was funny. I didnt see myself in it in the dream, but I am going to be in it. This has happened in the past . For instance, when I started work at Leicester General Hospital I had to undergo a computer training thingy………….I had already dreamed it so when it came to the actual testing I already knew the answers ! so the scientific explanation Ive heard in the past would not explain that.  When I was still a full time life model at Loughborough University I started having dreams, and sometimes when I was awake too, where I saw myself wearing a chauffers cap and within six months I was driving a taxi, something I never imagined myself doing as I had this idea that it was dangerous…………so there you are. I know this one day job is the right place for me to be, as Ive already dreamed it. And thats how I work my life. It seems my dreams are peepholes into the future. So, anyway, Im going to be on 8 out of 10 Cats does Countdown !!! shh, dont tell anyone.

oh, and i got into the studio today too………..all in all, quite a good day.

Love all, hurt none and walk in soft shoes

Isi Tart

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