Perception. Self deception.

The things on my mind are, it seems centred around myself, if you believe what I write here. There are other things on my mind such as why does toast not bloat me when bread not toasted does? Why does anyone have a middle name? Do flies really need six legs when they spend so much time flying and little time walking? But, yes, youve guessed right, this blog is primarily about me. Sorry. Change channels now if you want, I wont mind.

NO?

OK, dont say I didnt warn you.

Well, Ive been looking at my legs recently, post the Bakers Cyst medication where my left foot swelled badly. It seemed that my right leg had shrunk. Then my legs seemed both to be normal again (albeit with a slight swelling on the left foot). Then I looked at some photographs. So starting with this one in the garden of Somebody with Somebody else taking the photograph;

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I thought my right leg was not as bad as this.but the camera seldom lies does it, but this was pre Bakers Cyst, just the issues of post bloodclot .

So I knew it was still  not good, just didnt realise this bad. And then there was last saturday, and me thinking that both legs were now equal so the exercise and support leggings were working, however………..

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Looking at this pic………let me hone in a bit, hang on………..

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this wasnt the pic I wanted, but I cant find it………anyway, you can see my right leg is still larger than the left , so whats going on in my head? This is self-deception.

Other examples of self deception are thinking you are a talented artist when clearly you cant be since nobody ever buys your work. Thinking you are down with the kids when one look in a mirror confirms you are actually 59 years old , although mirrors tell me the opposite, that I AM young looking sometimes too, which is itself another example of self deception. Other examples include believing you are an astronaut, a racing driver, a deep sea diver (even though you cant swim), a pirate, an angel……..no hang on…..that one is real, honestly……….supposed to keep that secret but heck, God probably doesnt exist so what’s the worst can happen?

So this self deception thing………does it really matter? can anything bad come from it? if I believe I can pass in a Pride parade maybe I can. If I drive as well as I think I can, then maybe I can. thats a good thing isnt it? So if I believe I have cured my water retention leg issue , so what if I havent actually? I can just stop looking at photographs of my legs and all will be well.

Thats another deception…………….all is not well in my world, but it aint that bad either.

So lets all keep deluding ourselves and that way we fit nicely into this imaginary world.

Love all, hurt none and walk in soft shoes

Isi Tart

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