Denial; secret pleasure.

I was having a discussion the other day with a young person ( I know, most people are young these days………its like looking down from a tall building and thinking all people are small ), and not for the first time either on similar, related, topic, and upon thinking about it today I realised that so many people do this and, in fact, Im guilty of it in the near past too. So slap my thighs, I feel Im able to speak from experience !

The topic was sleep and how this person just loves to sleep. “I enjoy a good sleep” said Hin (thats a non gendered pronoun from somewhere in Scandinavia and I apologise for any mispelling, but I dont wish to reveal the gender as it may be a clue to who it was and I dont want to draw attention to names, but to the subject.

The first thing here; can anyone enjoy a good sleep? if your asleep its actually being unconscious, isnt it? so how do you know you are sleeping, how can that be good, and how, when you awake, do you recall it being a good sleep? I find sleeping too much leads to apathy and idleness as my body desires more of this amount of non exercise, much like it wants more exercise when you attend to keeping fit. Its just plain greedy and doesnt much care what it wants, it just wants more.

Sleeping too much is indicative of a person having depression. This person has depression. Which means that by sleeping so much that depression is fed as, as Ive just opined, the body wants more of whatever you give it. Give it depression it will want more.

The other thing I thought; No matter what people tell people like  this, and again I speak from my own experience when I thought it cool to be moribund, melancholy, depressive as I saw it as a way of attracting people, the less they want to listen. The less they want to believe it. The less they want to try a diferent way of coping. They simply wont change anything. Why?

Perhaps its to do with the people they do attract being very similar to them, so they can share stories of medications, unhelpful doctors, brilliant nurses, etc., etc.,. These people reinforce the idea that being this way is groovy, that it makes them special and that despite the obviousness of it being the opposite they cant imagine life without these pains and tears and dark thoughts/emotions.

Remember, I know………I was one of them……..fortunately for me, I never attracted a group of similars so that my mental self harming wasnt ingrained quite so much. I never submitted to the pcychic knife of the mental health specialists.  In the end , having wasted so many years of my life dedicated to misery, and mental self harm, I finally awoke. Admittedly it took a full blown bout of depression, rather than the piddling drip drip drip of former years, complete with suicidal thoughts (to the extent of designing a way of killing myself that left no mess for those who would find me and discard my vacant corpse), to make me realise that this was not the way to happiness. Not true happiness.

I wont go into how I got through and out the other side, as it doesnt matter since nobody currently in a similar state will even try it, let alone believe it. They enjoy wallowing in their unhappiness, and sharing that sad state with other sad people, reinforcing each others delusions. But suffice it to say that I DID get through, and down to me. Not pharmaceuticals. Just ME.

It can be done. Just like giving up smoking cigarrettes can be done……..without patches, without NHS crutches,without support groups, because these things are just the same as mental health crutches.

Im going to be bombarded with tales of mental illness, and Im obviously not talking about the real heavyweight voice hearers, the poor people who simply cannot think straight, who may be dangerous to themselves and/or others. Im talking about all those who whinge about being ill, whinge about smoking, and then do nothing about it for themselves.

Thats the key. Doing for yourself because its for yourself, and yes, before you ask, I also stopped smoking. Just like that. All by myself. No patches. No nurses. No support groups.

Just do it people, the view on the other side is so much better.


One thought on “Denial; secret pleasure.

  1. I can relate to sleep being pleasurable although it’s the moment before you fall asleep and after you wake up,I guess. Mind you it’s not good to sleep too much. As for people whinging, just let them be. All you can do is try to help people along by telling them what works for you – but very often all they want to do is moan. Steer clear is my advice. I’m always having conversations with people who say they want to write. ‘Then write,’ I tell them. ‘Oh, but I haven’t got time’ they say. ‘Just half an hour a day will do,’ I say. ‘Start a blog. Write a diary.’ Then I get all teh reasons why they can’t. But if they really wanted to, they’d do it. Michael Caine used to say when people told him ‘I’d love to do what you do’ he’d think ‘No, you don’t. Because if you wanted to act you’d be acting. You’d be in rep or amdram or whatever it takes.’ And there you have it.

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