Where does one sit?

So, a few days ago I posted a family picture on my non-arty facebook page consisting of Olivia, Valerie and Sarah…………here it is, in case anyone has forgotten or is reading this on my arty/eccentric facebook page;



ok, so let me introduce you……….left to right; Olivia , who is my cousin twice removed and granddaughter of………..Valerie, who is my first cousin, and Mother of……………Sarah, my cousin once removed and Mother of Olivia…………..confused? Try being me.

Its quite simple really, but it left me thinking about where I sit in this part of my extended family. As a child I would often stay with Valerie and Ken in their home in Crick. She had a library of Famous Five books and I read every one of them. Marvellous times. Later she gave birth to Sarah who famously sang Lulu’s chart topper, “Im a Tiger”rather well even though she couldnt have been more than 5 years old. When I was a teenager I used to look forward to visits from Val and Sarah and rush home from work (she later confessed that she thought I was scruffy…………..I had a dirty manual labour job at the time), where she would sit on my knee. She sort of loved me, I felt anyway. It was nice.

But over time of course life gets in the way, I got married and had kids, Sarah got partnered and had Olivia and some horses and dogs and I went years without seeing them except at funerals, which is a shit reason to get together with extended family.

So when, at James’ (brother of Sarah) wedding it was wonderful to be bearhugged by my absolutely fabulous cousin once removed . But the crux is this; Valerie is my first cousin but is 17 years older than me, whereas the AbFab Sarah is my cousin once removed but is only 10 years younger than me! So in terms of age Im closer to Sarah, but generationally nearer to Val! I dont know where I sit in that situation.

And it doesnt end there either really, as Pauline was my first cousin but would have been about the same age as Val had she not gone on holiday never to return and her daughter Lindsey, my cousin once removed, must be nearer to me age-wise though not generationally, and two other cousins, Angela and Jennifer (sisters) who are my first cousins are also nearer to the ages of the AbFab Sarah and Lindsey. I dont know where I fit in. Although, to be fair, this has never had my attention until now. Ive always felt that, with my extended family being so female heavy (and you know what women are like for their girls clubs) that I was excluded anyway. Or maybe they simply didnt like me or found me too weird and oppinionated, whatever. These days, as I get older, I feel a pressing need to be closer to my wider family. I dont really know why, but its there, and I simply dont know where I sit in some of these genetic equations.

Oh well, Love All, Hurt None, and Walk In Soft Shoes, its the only religion you really need

Isi Tart x


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